"For when I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; but when I became a man, I did away with childish things" 1 Corinthians 13:11
I believe child-like faith is a good thing when it refers to certain areas of our faith; however like this verse in 1 Corinthians says when you become a (wo)man you have to put away childish things and start speaking, thinking, and reasoning like a grown up.
For me that means no longer compartmentalizing my faith.
In college I had a beautiful friend named Heather. She was a strong Christian woman and anyone who met her could see that she put her relationship with Jesus first. We were in Sigma together and because we lived our lives together I saw her fall sometimes. I saw her when she made mistakes, big ones sometimes and small ones. This never made me loose respect for her. Because her faith was the most important thing about her I also had the honor of seeing her humble herself before the Lord and ask forgiveness and turn away from people and situations that compromised her faith. Unfortunately my friend died of a brain aneurism almost 3 years ago. However in her short life she impacted more people that most of us do in a lifetime.
I want to live like that.
I believe with all my heart one reason God blessed me with knowing Heather was so I can see what it means to live life God's way AUTHENTICALLY. So I know how to show my faith, but still be real.
It's not about being a "perfect person" or even a "good" person, but it's about the people around me being able to say that when they say me mess up, which they will do if they spend anytime with me, that they saw me be humble, confess my sin, and try to do better.
Thank you Heather for your impact of my life.
Here is a link to the blog she wrote while she was still with us http://jacobheather.blogspot.com/ read the last entry entitled Rain. It will give you a clue about the type of person Heather was.
Friday, March 22, 2013
I have been in the midst of a deep internal struggle for the past several months. I was raised in church, I became a Christian at a very early age and, by my "nerdy rule follower" nature, did all the things a good Christian kid is suppose to do. I went to Sunday School and memorized the verse of the week. I went to children's church and sang all the songs and answered the questions, I went to children's choir on Sunday night and sat through the "big church" sermon with my parents, Tuesday nights my mom and I (with other ladies) cooked dinner for the men's Bible study group (which my dad helped lead most of the time), Wednesday night was AWANAs, and then back to church on Sunday. When I was a child being a Christian meant inviting my friends to church, not telling lies, and being a "good kid".
Then I got to a teenager, and no teenager wants to be a "nerdy rule follower", so my faith changed a little. I still went to Sunday School (but no no one asked you to memorize scripture) and we went to "big church", sat with the youth and mostly listened to the sermon (although there was a significant amount of note passing involved). Sunday night was youth choir (and with all this choir I STILL can't sing) and then church (with more note passing) followed by Sunday Night After Church activities on school holidays. Tuesday night Men's Bible Study dinner preparing, Wednesday night was youth service, Friday night "hang out" activities and then start it all over again. As a teenager being a Christian meant being better than everyone else who wasn't a Christian; not being a "bad kid".
Of course I went to a private Christian college and although I studied religion (I was a religion minor) I never really followed any of my beliefs. I did pretty much what every college kid does, but I went to church on Sunday (and chapel on Monday and Wednesday- thanks ETBU). In college being a Christian meant being able to put on the Christian "show" whenever I felt it was appropriate.
How heart-breakingly sad. How terrible of me to split myself into 2 different people.
Now I am, for all intents and purposes, as scary as it is to admit-a full fledged grown up. Complete with a husband, child, job, mortgage, car note and student debt up to my eye balls. And what does my faith mean now? I know it is now something I can no longer compartmentalize and be a Christian at church and just the same as everyone else everywhere else. This has been my stuggle these past several months. If I TRULY believe in my heart of hearts that Christ was who the Bible says he was, and if I TRULY believe everything the Bible says shouldn't there be a radical difference in the way I handle myself EVERYDAY. When the pharmacist is ugly while trying to get medicine for my screaming baby, when the child in my classroom is having a meltdown 19 days before the state mandated test, when my husband and I are at each other's throats? Shouldn't there be a difference?
I mean if I believe what I say I believe where is the proof?
I think this post has been long enough, and I have to get off here and get ready for work. I will post again tonight the conclusion I have come to. :)
Monday, March 11, 2013
So on Saturday we decided to take the bottle away. Eli has been drinking water out of a sippy cup since he was 6 months old and transitioned to cow's milk beautifully. He did great the first day, yesterday was a little worse, and today he is acting like he has no clue what to do with the straw cup-- he keeps blowing into it. He is determined. He was playing yesterday and Ryan said "bottle" in a sentence and he threw down his toy and RAN to Ryan crying "bot bot, bot bot!" Poor baby's heart was broken when he realized daddy meant sippy cup. Momma's staying strong, but so is Eli. We might have a battle of wills going on for a while.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Ok, now that all you teachers have stopped laughing and picked yourself off the floor I will continue. I was WRONG. DEAD WRONG.
This stupid test is more pressure for teachers than kids now and there is something wrong with that. I do believe we need accountability standards, but not in this format. Not teachers having to explain why Johnny Student didn't pass and Susie did, or having to justify themselves as a professional just because so-so teacher had a higher passing rate.
I am not saying it's like this at any school I have taught at, at both Jessup and Dabbs I have had understanding administrators who are believe just as strongly that they system is broken; but their necks are on the chopping block too. We all have to answer for our kid's performance and the kids.... have no responsibility. No one calls them in and demands answers as to why they scored this or that. No one sits the parents down with the district representative and demands to know what the parent's plan of intervention is.
I'm just saying when E does something great (like say a new word) I would like to think that it's at least partly because his momma has worked with him on that word for months, and vise versa if E decides at 6 years old that he wants to throw a temper tantrum at Wal Mart I am also responsible for that behavior.
AND now I will stop preaching.