Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Next Day

Well after being moved to postpartum we had a ton of nurses come in and give us instructions. It was well passed midnight and we were both exhausted. The next morning everyone came in and hung out with Eli. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. SERIOUSLY. I was expecting to be in some pain from birth the next day but I didn't expect every muscle in my body to ache. It was horrible. I could barely get out of the bed. My mom even had to come help me shower around noon.

I was loving time with Eli. His first daytime nursery nurse noticed his short tongue and suggested we use a nipple shield to help extend my nipple so he could nurse better. He seemed to be doing well. He had 4 bowl movements that first day! Not much urine though. No one was too concerned. The nipple shield seemed to help.

It was Sunday when Eli really became MINE. Ryan's parents were at the hospital and the nurse came in and told us they would be taking him back for his circumcision at 11:30 so he needed to eat before hand. Around 10:45 I decided to start feeding him, so Ryan's parents decided it would be a good time to go for a walk. Ryan hadn't seen the sun in days so he asked if I would be okay while he went for a walk. I said of course, I know Ryan and he does not do well cooped up all day. Around 11:15 the nurse came to take him, I told her he wasn't done nursing and she said he had to go. She reached down and "helped" unlatch him and took him. I sat there for several moments and then started sobbing, she had took my baby from my arms, from my breast. It broke my heart. I called Ryan and he came back as soon as he could. That was the moment when that baby became my son.

Don't get me wrong there are times when I look at him at think, is he really mine? But after that moment I feel in love with him so completely my life was changed.

1 comment:

  1. Casey thank you for sharing your story. It brought back memories of my son. I know what you mean by the disconnect when you first give birth. My son was born via csection. I only was able to give him a kiss and see him for a minute before my hubby took him to show family while I was getting sewed back up. I think it was when my son just came back from his circumcision and the nurse came to evaluate him. I told her "he just came back". She continued to do her work with him and he was screaming. I wanted to rip her head off and at that moment I felt that love and need to protect him. I know what you were feeling! Congrats he's a cutie!----Jenny Drager