Monday, January 7, 2013

Back to the Grind

Allow me to start of this post with a ROLL TIDE! BCS Championship Game Day is here! I truly hope Bama wins, because my husband will be inconsolable if they do not.

Ok, on to other topics. Today was back to work after 2 weeks off. Ugh. I planned last night and packed my lunch, laid out clothes for work, laid out work out clothes, set my alarm for 4:30 (DOUBLE UGH) and then checked the weather- 39 degrees projected for 5 am. Ummmm NO! I don't do cold! So we changed the plan to still get up at 4:30 but do a quick yoga video, have some quiet time and then start a peaceful morning. Wellllllllllllllll my alarm didn't want me to go back to work either because it didn't go off and I woke up at 5:50. Luckly I had most prep work done so no yoga, no quiet time, just get dressed and out the door at the last possible second. Oh well. I left work around 3:30 and came home, changed and was about to head out the door to run and was struck with gut wrenching anxiety.

I have never been a woman prone to worry, but having a child changes things. After I gave birth I had pretty bad postpartum depression. I talked to my dr about it, he suggested waiting a while before we did medication. Then my anxiety kicked in. I have had anxiety since then; about the silliest things.With the help of my family, friends and very mild medication I was able to overcome my postpartum depression and I am learning to cope with my anxiety. So today when my anxiety hit I sat down and thought why am I so nervous? What is it I am afraid of? Immediately I realized I was scared I couldn't do it. I knew the run I had planned was easy and within my physical capabilities, but what I was afraid of was failure of spirit. It is hard to keep going when your legs are tired. It is hard for me to run alone and alone I was. I looked down on the floor and there was my cell phone and a picture of E staring up at me. I knew I could do it; I was still scared, but I laced up my running shoes and walked out the door.

And guess what I did it. It was challenging, but what in life worth having isn't?

Today I realized that I can choose to pass down fear of failure to my son, or I can choose to show him that even when things are hard, you do it. When things are scary, you do it. When you plain JUST DON'T WANT TO, you do it anyway.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

New Church

Today we visited a new church. We were actually very impressed. It seems to be a lot like our old church in Fort Worth and that is what we are looking for. Hopefully it will work out. Little man did okay in the nursery. He did have a couple of crying spells (so they say), but overall very successful.

Speaking of little man here he is enjoying a whole grain waffle for breakfast- more of it may have ended up being eaten by the dog on the floor than he actual ate, but hey it's a start with table food.

Today after church I went to lunch with my momma, sister, sister in law and niece! What a fun girls day! We ate, we laughed, we ordered dessert- YUM!

Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life-OPERATION: LOOSE THE BABY WEIGHT- for real yo! I am starting BACK on the C25K program. I had a lot of success with it the summer before I got preggers, so I am dreading excited to start running again. But seriously I am NOT a runner. God saw fit to make me 5 foot tall and have short legs, He did not create me to run; He did create me to take care of my body though and running has always been the #1 way for me to loose weight. So tomorrow morning 5 am me, my running shoes, my iPod, and the road have a date. I will be running Mon, Wed and Fri (barring weather) and doing Zumba Tues/Thur at our local rec center. I LOVE Zumba. I have a friend from college who is a Zumba instructor and has made an amazing transformation by doing Zumba. I AM excited about Zumba!

So since tomorrow's run is gonna come EARLY I am off to bed (a.k.a read The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest- if you haven't read these books do so NOW- they are SO GOOD!)

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Play-off Saturday

Ryan and I have developed a system of alternating who gets up with little man in the mornings . Today was his turn, that means I got to sleep till 7:40! That was uh- mazing!!  The Texans won their playoff game today, and the three of us bad a good time watching the game . unfortunately I have a horrible migraine . I hate these blasted headaches. Before I was pregnant I had some fabulous medicine to help, however I let the prescription lapse and now I am without pharmaceutical help. Excedrin migraine takes the edge off, but it still makes it hard to be on my momma game!

It' s times like this that I realize how lucky I am to have a husband who is willing to pick up my slack and entertain a VERY busy baby while momma lays on the couch ans watches them . I am one lucky gal!

We are visiting another new church tomorrow . Last time we tried little man got so upset they paged us twice. After the second page we decided it would be best to leave. Hopefully tomorrow goes better, I would really love to find church we feel like we could raise E in .

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year, New View

wow I am a bad blogger . One of my personal goals for this year is to blog everyday- even if it is just to say I really need a nap! So that being said here we go...

I have never been a "resolution" person, but this year it seems like the perfect time to reevaluate my life and set forth a new path so to speak . So here are my personal goals for 2013:

1 Put my spiritual life first . I had a "revelation" the other day . I am raising a son (duh), I have always realized that this means I have a responsibility to always remember that while he may be a little boy he is not just a little boy, he is a man in the making  I have to set the foundation for him to become the type of man he should be.My revelation was that I am setting the example.for the type of.woman he will most likely marry . Wow, when you think about the implications to that statement I am very convicted . I need to be the type of woman I think would b worthy of my son powerful thought .

2 I will put my health second. That means eating better, exercising more and taking time for me to refuel.

3 I am starting on my masters . I plan to start in Feb with Lamar university . I am so excited!