It has always been funny to me how someone can say something to you in passing and it really stick with you. About a year ago I was staying with Julia Mundy (my Mary Kay director) we were discussing something, I cannot remember what, and somehow the issue of children came up. She was telling me a story about her son and how she always viewed him as not her own, but a child of God's. He was theirs of course, but more like he was on loan. She was responsible for raising him into the man God wanted him to be. I of course was not pregnant yet and thought "gee that's cool" then dismissed the idea.
Yesterday I had a fussy baby. A very fussy baby. He was overstimulated, overtired, having gas pains, acid reflux, and eating every hour and half. Mommy was stressed, daddy was stressed and Eli was more stressed than all of us. It was funny because as I was feeding him what seemed to be the 100th bottle that day I was praying "God please help me help my baby, I don't know why he is screaming, I want to comfort him but I don't know how" Then like a light bulb Julia's words came back to me. He is not my own. For some odd reason that took the stress away. I didn't know what was wrong but He did. That didn't make Eli stop screaming (singing and rocking did) that didn't help him rest for a longer period, but it did make me feel not so alone.
My parents had stopped by to see him and helped get him calmed down and ready for bed. Ryan gave him his nighttime bottle and let me rest for a little longer. It worked out alright. He slept in between nighttime feedings (even if it was only 2 hours in between feedings) and today he has been a doll. I am so thankful for a huge support system here, between grandparents and his aunts and uncles Ryan and I are covered! But for some reason the thing that helped the most yesterday was comment made in passing by someone not even trying to help me be a better parent. Sometimes God speaks to us through the most interesting ways.
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5